📍 Hi, Tetiana. How are you doing?  

Hey, Mark. It's so nice to see you. 

Did I get everything or was there something else  that's hiding away, one of your skill sets?

We're just going to find out today.

Tell us a little bit about yourself. You immigrated to the United States from Ukraine.  

Yes, that's right. I did my first 27 years or so or 25.

I don't even remember that life anymore.  Just kidding. I lived in Ukraine. And it shaped the point, it shaped my personality, and then I moved to the US. At about 26 years old, so quite a while ago.  

What made you move?  

It's such a complicated question, but I always say music and love, right? It's a trivial answer, but it was real.

It was real because I met a friend.  And over time we just realized that we did fall in love and then our main conversation was music. And so I thought he was joking. Little did I know I moved and recorded an album.  Actually because of my husband, I am such an accomplished musician and build my music school because I honestly, I was about to give up because I had the office career, this, that, and the other going on.

So it was kind of dull.  But it's, workable. It's a doable life.  

Wow. That's amazing. I moved to the U S when I was 18 years old.  You moved to the U S when you were 26.  So 18 itself, it was hard for me just to get used to everything. Like the culture shock, language shock, what was it like for you to move at 26 to the United States from Ukraine? 

That is actually a very good question. I moved at 26 and to me it was, it's kind of interesting. I, at that time, so freshly out of college. My major was in English, so language was not really a problem. My minor was in psychology, so I kind of, know people.  But at the same time, I moved to a completely different culture.

 I moved from a capital city, which is, I don't know, 4 million plus to where I currently live, which is, I call it nowhere, Oklahoma. 

It was a big deal of adjustment because soon after I  had kids and my Ukrainian mentality, mother should stay with their kids for at least the first year, completely immersed.

And then knowing me, I cannot explore, not work, not create. So  it was brutal. It was brutal at first. But now, looking back, I see it was for a reason and for a very valid reason too.  

What was the biggest challenge? I know there were many, you spoke English. Yeah. Yeah. But cultural differences colloquial, things we say in English in one country may not be the same, how things are referred to in this country. But what was the biggest challenge that you faced having moved at that age?

I  think my biggest challenge was the isolation.  So I, for the most part, couldn't find anybody that would resonate with me.  For quite some time. And mind you, I'm not a usual person, so to me the depth of the conversation makes sense. It's very important. The cultural background, sure, that also could be a thing.

But at the same time, I was just in a situation where I didn't know anybody, didn't make any connections. And it started to change a little bit when I found my first employment.  It was actually a government job. And that's when I start to realize how America works.

For the most part. And then soon after I realized that I don't want to be a part of a big corporation or anything like that anymore. It's just  wasn't it for me. And it took a while to find it. And to me, it's the most important to be able to understand what my path is, what is it that I want to actualize in life and having little kids, it was pretty challenging. 

So when you say you have trouble finding people to resonate with, was it just  finding people who have things in common? Or was it at a much deeper level?  

Oh, why it's always much deeper level with me. To me, it makes sense to find somebody that I could have a deep conversation with somebody who is a seeker, who is looking forward to improving their lives, looking forward to understand deeply looking forward to actualize their potential.

 We go to that medium level where people are satisfied with just what is and not striving for more for the most part. And I also had questions, a lot of life questions as well.

Why am I here  in the first place? And so it took a while to get accustomed to it for sure.  

So did you get accustomed to it or did you find an outlet? Did you find your own people? 

I found me first.  To me, it was very important to understand myself first, understand what is it that I want in life, what is that, who I am, what my strong skills or strong suits are, and honestly, my biggest question, which is like a transformative throughout the life, finding my happy self. 

What makes me happy? What makes anybody happy? And I would have these questions in my head until I realized, you know what?

I would do what I always do. I do what I want to do, but to be able to do what you want to do, it takes time to build that and become that, becoming what you want. And so that has been a journey for sure. 

Do you think you have found the concrete answer as to, what you want to do, or are you still seeking in some sense?

Not really, I know who I am. And so at that point, I just choose whatever in this particular moment or in this particular time I resonate with. For example, if I'm building one business, it's beautiful, it has its own challenges, and I seek development. I seek to see what else is possible for me.

For example, when I started my music business, it was literally, teaching at home.  Then I moved to a studio, which was a big step for me, because it's becoming visible. And now I'm pretty much in a whole new building. But to me, what was important because part of this journey is musician-ship, is that the quality of people that I work with, five years ago, I would not be able to even imagine that I would be working with musicians. I would be helping bands to perform better. I would be helping accomplish people as well. I would be holding groups and workshops and this and that and the other.

So it was like but now that we are at this point, I already have different interests in life. Okay, let's develop something else.  

Yeah, no, so many good things you mentioned and I want to go get deeper in them because I think a lot of the listeners listening to this, including me, we have these questions.

So I want to know how you went about them. The first question still is you came, you had difficulty finding people you resonated with. You went on a journey to kind of find yourself. Therefore, you found yourself. Did that take away the desire to find people who you resonate with? 

It really didn't take away the desire in a way, because those people started to show up in my life.  

Interesting. 

By a miracle. Yes. Because whenever we reach a certain point of self acceptance and certain points of just really sitting well. Emotionally, mentally, just sitting well in, in where we're at.

It just, it's by miracle. You start seeing opportunities. You start seeing people that you didn't even know existed in this small community. And by small community, I mean that even though the town I live in is 1500 people, but I communicate with the whole county. So lots of people. People come to me, even though this is technically a small town.

So I was amazed to, to find people  who are aligned business like, or spiritually aligned, or just very interesting people that I could learn from.  

Yeah,  this is something I've experienced, and I've also talked to people who have experienced the same thing, and  for those listening, there is a miraculous, magical component to it, of course, but also, there's a, pretty practical and mechanical reason why this happens as well, and what I say is, how many of us have been into a grocery store, And we're kind of hungry, but we don't know what we want.

And we just walk through aisle after aisle and nothing looks good.  As opposed to, we go into a grocery store because we're craving ice cream and we go straight into the ice cream section and there are four ice cream, places and you just pick one.  That's the difference between knowing what I want and going specifically to a location versus just browsing through life.

You've got to have a vision, you have to have a goal, you have to have a very clear destination. And sometimes we get those answers just through finding about who we are. 

Would you say that?  

You know what, I also have a third option. So first, you are mindlessly scrolling, not knowing what to want in the store. Second one, you're searching for ice cream and you go for ice cream. And then there's a third option. You want to go for ice cream.  But you think, Oh, that's not good for me.

Oh, yeah. And you don't,  and you deprive yourself for something that you know, that you want, you desire. And so to me, because it was a part of my life, that's it, that leads to what internal constriction. It's I want to be this, but no. And we have different limiting beliefs that could prevent us from  buying that ice cream. 

Good girl, eat ice cream or  I'll get fat or  ice cream is generally not good for you, so what I'm saying to me was one of the juries was to understand, this is what I want and I accept that I,  despite all the facts,  I will go for that.  

Is that always a good idea?

I used to be obese, and there were times, significant periods of times in life, where if I kept saying, I want ice cream and I deserve ice cream and I'm not going to constrain myself, I would continue to be obese.  So is that always a good idea to not constrain yourself and just go for whatever we want?

What are the exceptions to the rule? And if there is, how does a listener know when to follow their heart and get the ice cream versus when not to?  

That's right. It's actually a good idea coming here. When we think ice cream, when I think ice cream as well as a product, I think, do I really want ice cream or do I substitute this ice cream with that emotion that I'm craving instead of that emotion, for example, instead of that.

Thrive for life. I'm going to substitute this with ice cream that will give me just that imminent, just five second of satisfaction while I'm eating that ice cream. Sometimes I'm asking myself those questions. Is ice cream what I really want?  

So it's not just about At a surface level thinking about what do I want is digging deeper to see what is the driving factor behind my desire to what I want. 

Yes, that's true. Because, it's so easy to say, Oh, just go with what you want. Go for what you want. Sure. I'll go for what I want. Say, I want this idea of current music business, but you know what? To go for what I want, I have to change so much because there's so many fears come up. So many fears come up for expansion in our life or for being the way I am.

Am I being accepted? Especially in this little community and in a little community of somebody who comes from a different culture,  what I'm trying to say is, yes, it comes with challenges. 

Knowing what you want and getting what you want is a whole journey. And that's what I love about that. It's never okay, I'm just going to get there. And that's it. My life is finished because, as soon as you are so close to reaching what you want, you already have other things that you already lined up.

This is what I desire. This is what I desire. So it's a never ending process.  

Yeah,  very interesting. So what was your discovery? You are in a place where you can't find resonating people. This is where you were. You went through a transformative experience.

You realized what you want, and therefore you completely changed. What did you discover you wanted? What was the missing piece?  

My missing piece was I really wanted to feel good. No matter the circumstances  or people. Or anything that I have in my life.

And so I had to search, how do I feel joyful? How do I feel good? Despite, just the things that I don't have or things I do have, or somebody who surrounds me, where is my personal space that is it feels so good, no matter the circumstances. And so for a while, for me as a musician, it was music.

And I connected with a lot of people through music. And so what I do in my work currently,  when I immerse in music, I teach actually people to feel better through it. And, of course, for me, what happens is those people with that inclination, they already come here already prepared. This is what I want.

I, myself, when I started singing, I cried so much because it's not the singing, it's not learning the voice because the voice is a very powerful tool of communication and expression.

So I cried and I was back then with the coach. I cried because I felt so insignificant in comparison with those others, big singers, those other big singers. So to me, that thing of comparison and, building a business comparison, that's such a killer. I could just have a podcast on comparison alone. 

So you said, you, you realize that you want to feel joyful. That was your discovery about yourself. And that kind of led you to a certain path, right? 

What were you missing? There's a lot of people who are exactly where. You were right now, they're in the place right now where they're in a town, they're in a community, they're in a job, they're in a relationship,  they're in a family, where they feel lonely,  where they can't resonate with anybody. 

And we are saying that  by finding who we truly are, we can attract those people and we can transform our lives. We all want to be joyful, only you wanted to be joyful, and therefore you are joyful.  But what were some things that were missing in your life at that time that led you to realize  I don't want to be this way anymore.

I want to be joyful. What were a couple of those things? 

The biggest thing probably was not understanding myself. I just really, I did not understand myself or my reactions. Why am I reacting a certain way? 

Can you give an example?  

Yes, sure.  For example, being so sensitive and being just, it's the thing you say, it's so hurtful.

For example, somebody said something and that would be just so hurtful. 

And so I wanted to understand what is it that makes me not joyful? What is it that triggers those reactions? That actually led to understanding that, and believe me, that was a lot of research and a lot of inner work. And so it led me to understand that, oh my goodness, I don't even know myself. I didn't know how I was thinking, I didn't know what was in my head, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, or when I wanted, when I did know what I wanted to do, say, sure I, for the longest time, for example, with my music business, for the longest time,  I just kinda was doing that, just not knowing why, not knowing what I'm doing, or why I'm doing this, and so when I grew as a professional because, one of the things is, I started teaching music, for example.

And you must understand, and the listeners should understand one thing, whenever you come from a different culture with a different language,  I mean, I did have skills. I was classically trained and all. In one instrument, I teach three now. Look at that. But so what happens is I had to study all over, but in English, all the methodology, all of the things that I've learned, redo, redo the resurface.

Everything is from scratch. That's just the business side. But for me when I finally realized, okay I guess that's what I want to do. And I asked myself does it make me a few,  Enthusiastic. That's what it is. To me, it's a very great, the best sign. I am on my right way. Enthusiastic about a project.

Now, after being enthusiastic, the second thing that comes is a fear. Oh my goodness,  I'm going to be on a podcast. What? So scary. I'm like, no, I'm going to believe the enthusiastic part of it.  And I'm going to deal with the fears because fears they make me understand what is that, inside of each fear is a great potential.

It's a great potential of who you can possibly be. So I love my fears whenever I have them, because I start to dig in and see, oh, my goodness. So my fear was not about, for example not about, My business, but about being visible.  Making my business known. And so I'm like, I don't know. And one day I asked myself, what is that? And so it turned out, it was just so funny, because whenever you actualize those fears, they're no longer fears at all. So I realized, because I grew up in Ukraine in the 90s,  So nineties was a period of time when the Soviet Union just fell. 

And so what happened is there was lots of businesses and lots of people who made their business  illegitimately, meaning like you steal, you manipulate, you do all of these things. And so to me, I have this subconscious belief. If you get visible, either the government is gonna  come for you or you get robbed all of these.

Just things that I don't even know on the surface, like ridiculous.  But that was one of the things that would hold me back. And so it's, it takes work, inner work. It takes courage to look at all of this. I'm like, wow. And so once I look at it, I was like, wow, that doesn't even, all right. I'm just going to put the biggest sign up for my business.

Yeah. So let's talk about that, right? Fear of visibility.  There are so many of us who have hopes and dreams and aspirations and ambitions.  Many of them have the talents  to do what they want to do, but they either don't get started. 

Or  they get started and they're always under the radar.

So for someone who's listening to this,  somewhere, anywhere in life, whatever fears they have,  what are you going to tell them? How did you go about overcoming this? 

What can someone do to get started?  

I would say,  you got to take action. You got to take action. And sometimes The best way is to take inspired action, but sometimes we don't have it just yet. I actually am  very good at getting myself inspired. I call it aligned. In the morning I might wake up and I'm  totally not with it.

And within an hour, I remind myself, why am I here? What are my goals? What is it that are going to make me absolutely excited for the day? Because, our life here is not endless. Here in this body, it's not. Do I want to live yet another day not actualizing my potential?  I don't.

It depends. If there is, you can take one step, but today. Like one tiny step that will get you closer to your goal,  and then another one, and then you've got to have a vision. So sometimes we don't even have that vision. And so I say, get yourself in an alignment of being inspired and being inspired.

And sometimes, and it's such a weird thing. Sometimes it's literally.  Getting to the moment where you are joyful right now so that you have a little bit clearer vision. And to me, it could be my yoga. It could be my cats. It could be just that little bit of alignment. So I feel at peace at this moment and I take that step.

It could be a little scary. And that's okay. It's a little step. That vision of we want to be over here. And currently we're over here. And so we're thinking about, oh my goodness, that is so far away. I don't, I shouldn't even start .

So break it down, take that first step and then look into it. Okay. Let's see. Is that what I want? Reiterate. Reiterates. Is that what I want? Calibrates. And another step. And another step. And then suddenly you look back. Wait a second.  That's a totally different person than it was a year ago.

Yeah. Same with your journey. There's a lot of hard work going on because you, you gotta be focused. You gotta be really focused on what you want to get, what you want to be.

And sometimes, in the middle of it, I'll be like, wow, I actually want to do something else. I actually want to be Just a little bit, not what I thought it would be because you are already with whenever we get to a certain point, we can see better, see bigger, we can reiterate and sometimes it's like in my for example, career I'm right now, like I'm building this music school and it's beautiful.

And I realized all I wanted to do for  these past two years, I actually, I wanted to switch to coaching because I have  an immense urge to speak up and to help people finding what they could be the best version of themselves, and it's just, and sometimes wow, I can't stop that. I just have to, it's I have to follow this. 

Yeah. I agree with you. There's absolute value in discipline and consistency and being able to do tiny bits and pieces every single day. And then all of a sudden realizing that, oh my God, I've made this much of an improvement and I'm no longer the person that was when I started.

And then that  starts making you imagine what's going to happen if you did for another 30 days or 60 days, right? So that's where the journey begins. And that's how the transformation continues. And it's a lifelong transformation.  But the part that I'm specifically interested in is overcoming the fear of visibility, right?

And I still want to come back to that because  Most of us are raised in school systems and unfortunately in households where validation is an inherent component of our upbringing, right? We're constantly looking to get validated by our teachers by our friends and our spouses.

And on a spectrum, some people need this validation little and some people need this validation a lot. On an average, I see a lot of people need validation, right? So when you are. Putting yourself out there you're going up on a stage and you are now visible. 

And we know first iteration of anything is never going to go well.  And somebody made some criticism about you, which is negative validation. Nobody came and said, wow,  the best speech I ever heard. That's never going to happen.  This fear now gets reinforced within us. 

So how do you now overcome that fear of visibility? I did take the step, I did make the video,  how do I now get past the negative feedback that I received and make the other one? Because a lot of people listening to it said, I've tried it,  maybe they got crushed.  What would you tell them? How do you get past that point?

I took the step, now my fears are really real. I thought people would think I'm an idiot, now I know they said I'm an idiot. What do I do?  

Oh my goodness. That brings me to It's so many vivid memories. So many vivid memories. How I made those  First steps.  The two things. Obviously it's criticism and comparison.

You're learning and yes, you're gonna fall. When I start  An activity that I have never done before, whether it's being short, whether it be exactly being visible. And that's actually a very actual question for me this year. That's exactly what I have asked myself to manifest visibility.

So I'm thinking, okay, it's very easy. Trick your mind. That's okay. I'm going to accept this. My very first, give yourself a number, say seven  times. I'm going to do those videos are going to be a complete fail. Just count it. Okay. Cross it out. Okay. This one is fail. Thank goodness. It's a fail. Great. Let's go.

Let's move on to the second one. Okay. Let's see what I can do better. And third one. And so you're getting to the point that you're getting better at this time. We're getting better at this. And and then so that's one point, right? And then at some point you realize, Oh my goodness, I'm actually okay.

Okay. Start to connect the dots. All right. That's good. So that's one of the things. And another thing is comparison. Whenever we try, Oh, especially when we compare ourselves to the successful people,  it's intimidating. That's what it is. It's intimidating. It could be very intimidating. So my best advice to anybody is don't even compare yourself to anybody but yourself.  Anybody but yourself. You take a step and then look back. Wow. Am I really different right now a tiny bit than I was? 

a day ago, a week ago, and you will see the growth and okay, I'm growing and more and more. So that comparison as a factor,  I would not even compare. And another thing  we compare because we usually don't care about so much. Successes of other people that are not relevant to us in our journey, but we do really pay attention to successes of other people that is relevant to our journey.

And so what I say is when, whenever we have that internal feeling, that's a really great sign. That's a sign that this is already, that potential is in us. It's already there. We just need to actualize it. And so when we look at those successful people, I say, get inspired.

That's your path right there. Get inspired. Don't compare yourself because your journey is going to be really different. We cannot predict how that question, how do I get, how do I get there? That how question, you don't know.  You really don't know. You can take steps.  And then reiterates and see what else is possible and then in taking those opportunities as they come versus shutting down because of fear, whenever opportunity comes  in, and that I can be scary. 

You mentioned that instead, somebody's afraid of visibility.  Instead of putting out a video, piece of content,  getting negative feedback  and seeing, look, see, I knew everybody's going to hate me.

Basically you're validating your own fears.  Expect to be bad.  Don't put out that first piece of content thinking, I'm going to I hope I'm not bad.  And then you get a bad feedback and you're like, see, I knew I was not good.  Instead put out that piece of content knowing I'm going to suck the first 50 times. 

So because you suck, you have  expected to suck the first 50 times when you do get negative feedback.  It's okay. I knew this was going to happen.  So it's, is that a way to overcome that fear of putting content out after the first negative experience? Yes.  

We are missing a very important component here. Now we're coming into mindset. 

Now we're coming into realization and that's an important one. What is inside of our heads?  What are we producing? Because literally, and it's not a new experience or not a new thought, that our thoughts create reality  versus, I would say our thoughts and our emotions tied to those thoughts. So I would really advise everybody, look into your head, what thoughts do we have?

What fears do we have? How do we can, how can we reshape them? How can we reshape the thought patterns? As in,  why do we say, I'm a failure? I'm a failure. I'm a failure. What would that mindset do for us? I'm a failure. I'm a failure. Because all of, all the time we say that to ourselves automatically. We don't even consciously realize that chatter, that goes inside of our minds in this, whenever I pay attention Oh my goodness, that is just fresh, we're just going to trash that. Then I go into, and whenever I have coaching sessions, it's a very interesting point, what is that they think about themselves  on a very ground level, especially them,

sensitive people, because  these are my people, sensitive is creatives, the ones that they do have an immense  amount of talent. You would be surprised what they usually think about themselves due to the past experiences. It's like literally  trashy thoughts.  I am not deserving. I'm this and the other.

So we pinpoint what is that? Because those poor beliefs, they are lies. They're lies. 

One of my core beliefs is I am not enough.  Meaning I have to work super hard to achieve this. I have to study so I can't even start my business because  it's not enough expertise, not enough, this, none, the other, not enough. And we will never start  if it's not enough. So we start somewhere.

And so we unbelieve it, replace it with different beliefs, replace it with understanding, who we truly are. We replace it with excitement of trying excitement of getting where you want to get versus that picture of I'm already there. Picture is great, but we have actual steps than being able to enjoy that in the process,  enjoy this little step. 

It's another example of  getting rid of that belief through action.  

Yeah  

very cool. So this subconscious belief, unconscious beliefs, right? I'm not enough. I'll never be enough. Yeah. I am not liked. I don't make friends easily.  I'm awkward. These are all a lot of,  and we can go on and on  things people think about themselves.

They have grown up with this. Someone listening to it could be 18 years old and they have 18 years of programming. Someone listening to this could be 55 years old and they have 55 years of programming. Undo that programming by changing the chatter in their mind. It's not an overnight process.

It's a very long process. Is it? 

Yes.  

But if I'm 55 years old, if I'm 45 years old, when I finally realized, this is not the life I want to live, I want to find my people,  I want to relive a different life, I'm doing that programming. It's been there for 40, 50 years. Can we take a very long time? What do I do in the interim? 

Do I just continue to work on myself? How long is that going to take? What's the action plan in the interim so that I can continue to move forward. Is it just taking the action despite feeling that way or is there something else  

To me? It's definitely taking the action,  but also realizing and learning in the process because that action is when we take an action, this action, it's just, it's a feedback of how we feel about ourselves.

It's the action, how people ultimately feel about us. So for example, I know I am clumsy.  I'm clumsy. Yes. And so it's interesting that I will say that  It's fine. It's fine with me. It used to be like, Oh my goodness, I have to be the perfect picture of myself. Come on, people. When do you look at me? And now I say, sure, I am totally in acceptance of the certain features that are perceived as not.

I am also pretty weird, but you know what? Yes. But you know what? When we embrace that weirdness, you'd be surprised when I started embracing all the thing, all the features that I am. Yeah. It's crazy how many people started to resonate and feel at ease in my presence because guess what? Everybody's weird.

On a certain level.  Everybody has quirky personality traits, that they think, I'm just gonna shove it in the farthest closet so maybe nobody will find out. And that creates those fears. But whenever you look at that and accept it, hey, you know what, that's a cute trait of my personality. And people, when we become at ease, that's what we project to other people and they're like, Oh, okay, sure.

I'm fine with that. But when we shove it and really just really being in so much resistance, that is going to come up as a negative comment on YouTube because we're already in so much panic or resistance, that's going to come up as a negative comment. And it's going to be all like this. But then when we learn to realize, Oh, sure about, yeah, it can be like this. 

You said, pretty much everybody's weird. Some level I'm not, I don't know what you're talking about, but let's say just, I am a little bit, and I accept the fact  weird. When I put some content out, I'll make, there's a four comments,

this dude is weird. He looks weird. He talks weird. He has a weird accent  because I have accepted the fact a little bit weird. How do I react to that? Do I just,  we like that, whatever. He's right. She's right. Or is there any other way to cope with that?  

You just asked the brilliant questions, Mark. Thank you so much.

The great response would be  everybody is entitled to their own opinions  and those opinions. You cannot please everybody. You really cannot.  You can't even please your parents ever.  Or if we try to please everybody or every negative comment, what happens is we  lose our authenticity. We just lose it.

We lose the core of who we are. Accepting the fact that everybody has their own opinions and they're entitled to that's great. But also, accepting the fact that especially say  In our business, right? Being visible projecting who we are, accepting the fact that, and it is for sure, especially for musicians, I talk to them all the time, is that, you know what let's take a musical example, say, Somebody I'm here in a core, in a heart of the country centered people.

Country. So country music is very popular here.  I don't like country music. But I also see that so many do. Should I start writing country songs? No. We find our tribe. We speak to the audience that is relevant  to us. And we will find it whenever we're true to what we want to speak about. We will find that audience.

It's, and that comes to a visibility that comes to understanding, you know what, not everybody is going to be our client either.  Not everybody has the same values. Not everybody sees the world the same way. Not everybody is just, it's not their cup of tea, but I am pretty sure there are so many people that would resonate even with this podcast  and feeling that it is.

Very genuine, and it feels very much at ease not having to pretend to be somebody else and not having to do this and that and the other because somebody very relevant told you to do that and that's the right way to live, but internally, it just feels so heavy. And not like my path. To me it's important to realize, let's sum it up, that everybody is entitled to their opinion, and yes, not everybody's gonna like you. 

And also understanding that you, we do, because we resonate, and I use this word as a musician, and As a mind practitioner, we do resonate with people that they just feel that there's some kind of, we have something in common. We have some kind of truth that we share. And so that resonance, you're going to attract exactly those people that you are aligned with.

But if you become visible, if you stay in the closet, nothing's gonna change. It's gonna be just you and your friend, if you have a friend.  And if you are, if we are afraid to even have a friend, we won't have a friend because we have a cluster in my mind. I am so different, nobody understands me. That thought pattern.

Because I have that thought pattern. I am so different, nobody understands me.  I have plenty of people that I can resonate with on a certain level.  Some of them entirely, some of them just a part of it. And so I would connect.  at the part that we do resonate. And that's how actually we can escape the conflicts.

We, we find the sliver of resonance with those people and try to understand them on that level. And that doesn't mean that we will complete like in the relationship. Not a hundred percent. And actually being able to communicate with my spouse and with my children, I spent a whole lot of time exploring that as well.

The dynamics in the relationship the upbringing of the kids, because I know you have a child. So every parent thinks about that, and every parent wants their children to have that. Achieve the best or be the best or just be happy that's the phrase just be happy, right?  I was like, how do I do that? 

This is great because  there's a lot of truth to what you said, which is that  nobody will ever understand me  Nobody understands me. That means that there is no one specific person who understands all of me  And it's true. There is no one specific person who should all of me because there is only one of me.

I'm unique in my own way.  So if there's somebody else who is just like me, then I'm not by definition unique and we're all unique.  So you're right that we find people who resonate with certain portions of us.  And for polymaths like yourself. Who is in music and mindset and self development and has immigrated from another country, but living in a small town and running a music school and is a mother of two kids and is a healthy  relationship. 

That is an intersection of so many points.  It's mathematically impossible to find somebody who's going to resonate with you on all of them.  So for those of us listening to us, instead of trying to find that one person who gets all of you, which will never happen,  put yourself out there, become visible, and attract different types of people.

And maybe somebody will resonate with the musician side of you and somebody you will be able to have deep conversations with. We are lucky if we have a person who gets us on more than one level.  Sometimes that's our spouse. Sometimes it's our best friend,  but everybody can have somebody. If we take the courage, put ourselves out there, be visible by fighting our fears.

Thank you so much, Tetiana. It's been a wonderful conversation with you.